Okay, JB, I'll play along...
JB over at A Voice for Freedom has "tagged" me in some sort of bizarre online escapade in which bloggers pose the question "what sitcom character would you like to grow up to be?" to other bloggers. (Note: I am over the age of eighteen, so I am rephrasing to question to "what sitcom character would you like to be?")
Before I answer, let me say that this question caused me considerable mental distress. I hate, loathe, despise, and abhor most modern sitcoms. Why? Because, in the first place, I like television that stimulates brain cells rather than killing them. I watch five shows on a weekly basis: American Idol (because I am a trained vocalist and like to watch artists develop), Survivor (because I think that it is an interesting sociological experiment), CSI (because I like to see if I can figure the case out before Grissom does), Without a Trace (Because it's on after CSI), and Grey's Anatomy (okay, I don't have a good reason for that one). Other than that, I generally limit my viewing to news, documentaries, Iron Chef, and Country Music Videos (If I'm really bored).
Secondly, I am sick of the fact that nearly all male sitcom characters are always absolute idiots while most female characters (not counting mother-in-laws and the token crazy chick) are far more intelligent and well spoken. If you disagree, I ask you to consider the following examples: Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, and Home Improvement. As further proof, I cite that fact that my conservative compatriot JB was forced to choose a female character in order to find someone that he would want to be (Yes, I am sure that JB is male; I have met him personally). I have nothing against intelligent female characters, I just wish that the male characters were equally intelligent.
Now that you have read my diatribe on how much I loathe sitcoms, you will understand why I had to spend a considerable amount of time racking my brain in order to answer the question. First I had to try to remember the last time that I watched a sitcom, then I had to try to remember a sitcom in which I actually knew who the characters were, then I had to pick one I liked. After much deliberation, I realized that there was one sitcom that I used to really like. Then it hit me that this same sitcom was the only one that I could think of where one of the male characters actually had his head screwed on correctly. So, if I had to be a sitcom character, I would probably be...
Martin Crane from "Frasier"!
Martin was an ex-cop whose simple common sense always seemed much more intelligent than the professional opinions of his two psychiatrist sons, Frasier and Niles. According to Wikipedia, Martin was also a strong conservative. In one episode, he endorsed a "far-right" candidate for congress (I never saw the episode, so I cannot state my personal opinion on this candidate. I'm sure that the guy was made to look like evil incarnate.) He also once referred to a US Senator as a "bleeding heart - soft on crime". While Martin did once state that he was concerned about global warming, I think that is safe to say that he probably voted Republican most of the time.
I'm also supposed to tag three others as part of this foolishness. So, I elect to tag STRICTCONLAWMAN at ConservativeLaw; Mortimus Q. Squid, Esq. at The Political Wisdom of Mortimus Squid (even though I am sure that he considers this game to be beneath his dignity), and Hugh Hewitt (who has probably never heard of this blog, but I couldn't think of anyone else off the top of my head).
So, the rules of the game are as follows:
1. Answer the question.
2. Link back to the person who tagged you.
3. Tag three of your friends in the blogosphere.